College Grad Blues

¹con·fi·dence:noun: a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances.

When you have self-confidence, you trust in, or rely upon, yourself. Possessing confidence in yourself means believing that you have the ability to become, achieve or acquire whatever you want. Sure sounds good eh?

If only things were so simple.

You can have all the self-confidence in the world and it wont guarantee that you’ll succeed.  I want to be successful in this world but it seems every time I set out to accomplish something, I end up settling for less. Doors are slammed shut and I end up more depressed and disappointed then ever.

I got a college degree yet I still make less than $2,000 a month. Something is very wrong with the world lately. What’s the point of going to school to get a education anymore? There are no entry-level positions, and if there are most of them require 2 years of experience just to get your foot in the door. How am I supposed to get 2 years of experience if no one will hire me? I got a kick ass resume, 3 internships to back me up, and graduated Magna Cum Laude–yet it seems I’m just not qualified enough. I have a friend who has a Masters degree yet works at the Gap as a manager making $18,000 a year because he can’t find a job and now he’s stuck paying back $70,000 in student loans on his salary. I’m tired of hearing people complain about having to settle for a job in a field that they didn’t even got to school for just because it pays the bills.

He unfortunately is falling into a deadly trap:

Graduated from college -> can’t find job -> get’s low paying “temporary” job just to pay the bills -> starts to become complacent and falls into routine -> struggles to get out of routine but can’t because of accumulation of debt to finance lifestyle of escaping reality and impressing people with material possessions -> effectively becomes a slave to the job as it is needed to pay the bills-> looks foward to weekend to complain about job but does nothing and gets wasted to forget troubles-> gets depressed -> struggles to find meaning in life -> maybe gets a small promotion at temporary job by employer as an incentive not to quit -> hates waking up in the morning everyday but does it anyway to pay the bills -> makes other people’s lives miserable because his is -> rinse and repeat for 40 years -> lies on deathbed regretting life, wishing he could go back and change it all, and dies knowing that he can’t.

Oh God I don’t want that to be me, but I fear that I am becoming more cynical…

I got all the self-confidence in the world, and I’m living my life right so what is it that I’m doing wrong? A friend of mine said you gotta love what you do and be good at it. Well duh…. that’s a no-brainer, I love the field I studied but how will I ever be able to get into to it if there are no jobs?

So Im thinking maybe it’s me…

 

I actually lost my job the other day, for no appearant reason. I’m already over it tho. One good thing came outta that job though, I found that I like to blog. So here it is. Let’s start with my job..

So you’ve probably never heard of this company before, PayMoTech…. short for pay mobile technologies, ( yeah…what the hell do they do?)  well anyways, that was my last place of employement as of friday… i need to jump off on a tangent for a second–I dont think companies should let their employees work all day and then fire them, that is some bull shit, I was totally unsuspicious of the fire M plot that was undfolding around me. But neways I digress–back to me talking about my job, I started out as an intern(unpaid garbage) and somehow (clevery) scored myself a paid position.

My job role was kinda confusing. I dont think anyone really understood what the hell it was that I did anyway, I was technically the “Marketing Assistant” a title I gave myself. One thing I did do( extremely well by the way) is write all of the content on blog.yackiemobile.com. Yeah some boring shit. The messed up part is I created a new kick ass header the day I was fired. For no appearant reason by the way. I was kinda having a lousy week already, my car broke down and a I  stupidly trusts a crack head to fix it-long sotry short, he stole my car radio got stolen, and to top it off I was broke. Ahhh but alas, everything happens for a reason. I did end up getting a new job the same day I lost mine–less than 2 hours later– and it wouldnt have happened if I didnt need a ride home.  I dunno, maybe it’s me…